On Jobs And Dress Shoes

As many of you know, I have been seeking employment for quite some time with no luck. Whenever I go to pick up/drop off/check on an application, I'm either told there are no positions at least at the time (and I generally consider myself lucky if there will be anytime soon) or that the person in charge will get back to me (which they don't regardless of how many times I follow up).  Maybe, a long time ago, jobs were easier to find, but they aren't so much anymore, at least not where I'm at. And I'm getting so frustrated that I want to just step away from it until further notice and just give my attention elsewhere.

For my job search activities, I usually dress up: dark skirt or neutral-tone slacks, a turtleneck or blouse of some sort, hoisery (black or skin-toned), a black blazer (as it's all I have access to at the time), and plain black dress shoes, more specifically a pair of Mary Janes from Wal-Mart as of late. I also take the time to wear make-up and pull my hair back in something nicer than an ordinary ponytail. Sometimes I'll even throw in a tasteful necklace or a scarf.

As far as the shoes go, for the sake of the job search, I try to go for plain black flats for professional purposes: no bows, patterns, or anything like that (at least not until I have a job where I have a better idea of what's okay). At one time, it was easy to find a pair of plain black flats, but now, they have become very difficult if not impossible to find, unless I have been looking in the wrong place. That's why I've settled on the Mary Janes, which have been wearing out as of late and should be replaced just as soon as possible. (If I did not have anything that was appropriate by any stretch of the imagination, I wouldn't be able to seek employment.)  If the job search wasn't an issue, I'd maybe get one of those "cutesy" pairs with bows, patterns, etc.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. You see, the plain black flats that I try to look for, represent my trying to seek employment. The plainness and sensibilty represent the income I need to earn, the security of a job, etc. The Mary Janes represent my need/motivation to treat the job search as a job in and of itself. The fact that they are worn represent my frustration, but the fact that I have yet to ditch them represents my need to resist any and all temptation to give up the job search until I've looked in every possible place in town that I'm qualified or may be qualified for. (Due to my failure at my Burger King job in 2006, the fast food industry is out of the question for me.)  The fact that the Mary Janes need to be replaced represent the need to renew faith/hope that I will get a job and a proper income stream going. The not-so-job-search-appropriate styles of shoes, such as cutesy flats and even some sandals in my closet represent my temptations to focus more of my attention elsewhere, such as my writing, my volunteer work at Doggie Bag, and even helping out at home.

There is one group of shoes I must mention: high heels, as well as flats that would be okay were it not for the bow. These groups of shoes represent options that may not be completely acceptable but could be better than nothing at all. For practicality reasons, I seldom, if ever, wear heels. Spike heels and my feet do not get along. But if they are the only other shoes that are acceptable, so be it. For me, it's the equivalent of applying (or thinking of applying) to places such as beer stores or (so help me) the local adult video stores, places which are considered inappropriate for a minor to set so much as a toenail inside. However, if those are my only options left, so be it. (In case you haven't figured it out, spike heels represent adult video stores, which I would not normally be caught dead in, and heels with width represent beer stores which are a gray area to me personally, but may be a no-no in someone else's book. To me, the latter is the lesser of two evils.) 

At Wal-Mart today, I saw a pair of black flats that I'd have no problem getting if they didn't have a bow at the toe. While I don't see them being fully acceptable for a job search they might be for when/if I break into the freelance proofreading business I had been contemplating. (While I would likely wear indoor slippers of the ballet flat variety for the at-home portion of my business, I'd need real shoes for when I go to meet clients, network my services, put up posters, etc.) The freelance work may not be what I had in mind in the first place or fit what my family expects me to do, but it may be the direction I end up taking if I want to get an income going.

Wow, I've said a lot here. You know, maybe I could write a poem about this, though I don't know how I would go about it.